Breaking to Breathe Page 16

  Judging by the sincerity in his eyes, the feelings were mutual. While that sent fear scrambling through her head, the rest of her body welcomed anything he had to offer.

  “The night of my accident, I thought I was going to die.” Kyle paused, lowering his gaze to his hands. “I was praying to die. I couldn’t live this life anymore; it was too fucking painful. I felt my life slipping away, and I was grateful for the mercy God was finally showing me, and then I heard a voice. I swear, Cate, I thought I was imagining it. I thought it was sent from heaven to stay with me until I finally left this world.” His intense green stare grabbed hold of her and wouldn’t let her go. “It was you. You told me to fight a battle that I, only seconds before, couldn’t wait to forfeit. And when I opened my eyes and saw yours—when I felt your warmth and your fear for me, a person you’d never met before—I knew.” Kyle rubbed the bridge of his nose, his eyelids fluttering shut as he swallowed hard. A bubble of silence filled the space between them. Cate didn’t try to coax more out of him. If there was anything she understood, it was the need to stop talking when the words refused to come.

  With his eyes closed, Cate studied his beautiful features, each infused with torment and pain. Unable to hold back, she leaned in to Kyle, brushing soft kisses against the lines between his brows that appeared while he told his story. Kyle’s small rasp of surprise made Cate smile as she continued to press light kisses across his forehead and over each eyelid. Another small groan left Kyle’s lips as his dark green irises finally met hers.

  “That’s when I knew,” his voice was low and husky. “I knew you were an angel sent to guide me. You’ve come to me in my dreams. And some nights, I’ve hated it, because I never thought I’d feel your touch again. But that night, when you walked into Danny’s, everything changed, Cate.”

  Cate’s heart thrummed wildly in her chest. Could the things he just said be the truth? His eyes swore they were. And her heart and soul agreed with everything he’d just admitted. But she couldn’t do this, not now. Her mind began to spin as her body grew soft with need.

  Kyle’s large hand weaved through her hair and cradled the back of her head while the other hand tipped up her face. The hunger in his eyes mimicked her own as he finally claimed her mouth in the most passionate kiss she’d ever known. He ran his tongue over the seam of her lips, his heat penetrating her, intoxicating her. When he nipped her bottom lip, she sighed, welcoming the pain because it meant the interaction wasn’t a dream. Opening her mouth, he deepened their kiss—passion snapping between them, lighting her up as she savored his taste, his smell, and his touch.

  “Mmm.” She licked his lips before sinking back into another deep kiss.

  Kyle snaked his muscled arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, then gently lying her down on the buttery soft leather. She ran her fingertips through his still damp hair, loving the softness of the black locks.

  She felt his heart beating a quick staccato through his shirt and needed nothing more in that moment than to have her hands on his hot skin.

  “Take your shirt off, dirty man. I want to feel you pressed against me.”

  “That sounds mighty…friendly, Red.” Kyle’s dimple winked as he pulled his tee shirt up from the back and over his head. With his hands temporarily restrained, Cate ran her hands up his abs, touching his ink with revere, focusing on his beautiful body.

  “You look at me like you wanna eat me,” Kyle stated, his eyes as hungry as he accused her of being.

  “I do.” There was no use denying the undeniable. She wanted the man with a fierceness she’d never known.

  “Feeling’s mutual.” Shivers ran through her body at his admission. “Lift your arms, Red.” She did, and he swept off her hoodie and unlatched her bra. “Now lie down.”

  “Hmm, bit bossy, aren’t ya?” She gazed at him under her lashes to see he’d gone from playful to downright lustful. Her breaths were shallow, her panties were wet, and she couldn’t wait to have his hands all over her body.

  She could do this, she repeated in her mind. If she didn’t look him in the eyes, if they didn’t talk, she’d totally be fine having sex with Kyle in the daylight. They were already half way naked, and she was fine. It wasn’t like sex was bad. It was good—hell, it was great. It was her unleashing herself, her breaking free. She’d be fine.

  As Kyle’s mouth covered her pebbled nipple, Cate tried to force away the sunlight and focus solely on the pleasure.

  Kyle delighted in the way her soft skin felt beneath him, her breast filling his hand, and his tongue rolling over her erect nipple. Each of her shallow, hungry breaths made his cock lengthen and pulse behind his track pants, leaving no room for misinterpretations or misunderstandings. He wanted this woman more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life. It was crazy how in such a short time a woman could change his life. He’d never conceived of it a year ago. But, fuck, he was a goddamn believer now. And he wanted to tell her in more ways than just grinding his body against her. “Angel, open your eyes. Look at me.”

  She shook her head, leaving her lids closed as she pulled him down to her lips, engaging him in another mind melting kiss. In the past, it wouldn’t have mattered if the chick didn’t look at him. Hell, he would have preferred fucking them blindfolded and doggy-style. Not this time though. He had no intentions of fucking his Cate. This was so much more; she was so much more. As he grinded his cotton covered erection between her legs, he asked her again.

  “Cate, baby, please, open your eyes and look at me while I make love to you.” Those words had never before entered his mind, let alone left his mouth, yet in that moment, no words ever felt more right.

  The world around him froze as the woman beneath him responded to his request. Slowly, her lashes fluttered, lifting her lids and showing him a side of Cate he was certain few, if any, had ever seen. Vulnerability and self-assurance brimmed in her eyes, along with glistening tears that had yet to fall. His heart began to race as his cock throbbed behind its barrier. Never had he been with a more breath-taking woman. She was a contradiction, strong and sensitive, tall and lithe, brave but cautious—everything and crying.

  “Angel, you’re crying. Am I hurting you? Rushing you? You say the word and this stops.” Lifting his weight from her, Kyle moved to give her some space, but Cate wrapped her long legs around his waist and pulled him back down flush against her body.

  “Please don’t leave me.” Kyle heard much more in her whispered plea than just her need for his physical touch, and that alone was his undoing. He reached out, swiping the tear from her cheek and bringing the salty sadness to his lips. He loved the way her eyes darkened as she watched him lick his finger. “I want you, Kyle.”

  “You have me, Angel.” Pressing his body back down to hers, their kisses sparked into flames once again.

  Lost in passion and confusion, it took a minute for them to realize Cate’s cell was ringing. Her body tensed as she sat up, reaching out for the phone.

  “If it’s business related, they’ll call Elliot,” Kyle said, hoping to figure out why his sexy red head had tears in her golden brown eyes. Rubbing her collar bones with his softest touch, Kyle leaned in, taking her lips in a gentle kiss. Just as he felt her beginning to respond, her phone went off again, this time with a different ring.

  “Kyle, I need to answer it; it’s Elliot. She has her own catchy little ringtone. And she wouldn’t be calling me if it wasn’t important.” Sitting up, Cate threw her shirt on and reached into her purse to find her phone.

  “Fine,” Kyle faked a pout, “you can take her call, but I don’t intend to make it easy for you.” The cell began to trill for a third time.

  Kyle had no fucking clue what was going down on the other end of Cate’s call. All he did know was the woman he cared about had gone from glowing beneath him to shaking beside him, and he had no idea what the hell to do about it.

  After wrapping a blanket around her shivering frame, Kyle sat close with his arms around her and listened to Cate’
s side of the conversation.

  “What do you mean she called asking to speak to me?” Cate shrieked, “Elliot, did you give her my cell number?” The color drained from her face, leaving her skin sheet white and translucent. “I know. I’m sorry. Of course you’d never give it to her. Did she say what she wanted?” Cate pulled her lip between her teeth, leaving marks on the fine skin.

  Kyle felt helpless as he watched the woman who’d physically taken down a man bigger than her only an hour earlier came apart at the seams over a phone call.

  “I’m guessing she wants me to call them back. Okay. No, I’m fine… I’m still here with him… I won’t. I love you, too. Bye.” Cate disconnected the call.

  Kyle sat unmoving as Cate carefully placed her phone on the coffee table; her movements no longer fluid but rigid and tight. Gone was the passionate woman who writhed in his arms. In her place appeared to be a broken girl with bleak eyes and trembling hands.

  “Do I fake ignorance and ask if everything is okay? Or do I just sit here and hope that you eventually open up to me?”

  “I don’t want to relive my past, Kyle. Not with anyone.” There wasn’t bite in her response, just resignation.

  Running his thumb across her knuckles, Kyle leaned forward, angling his head to Cate’s, and spoke softly, “With all due respect, judging by what I saw at the gym this morning and by your reaction when you didn’t know it was me behind you, it seems like you’re reliving your past every single day, whether you want to or not.”

  When Cate slipped her hand from his hold and placed it on her lap, breaking eye contact the moment their skin parted, Kyle felt an inexplicable loss. She was sitting not six inches away from him, yet it felt like miles, and in that space, Kyle was lost. Christ, I’m turning into such a fucking pussy. He wanted badly to close the gap, to bring her back to him, to give her what she needed. He just wasn’t sure how to do it without giving her parts of himself he’d kept hidden inside for a lifetime.

  “Talk to me, Cate. I’m right here.

  Maybe she was in shock learning of her parent’s contact after years of silence, or maybe it was the fact that the man sitting next to her felt like the only slices of safety she’d ever known. Cate wasn’t sure, but when she opened her mouth, some of her darkest secrets purged from the depths of her soul.

  “When I was eight years old, my mom, my identical twin sister, and I were at the market doing our grocery shopping. My sister, Fara, and I were in the breakfast food aisle selecting cereal while our mom was in the dairy aisle. A man came over to us and asked us which cereal we thought his little girl would like best. I’d seen him staring at us in the previous aisles, but I didn’t think much of it. We hadn’t been food shopping in a while. My dad had lost his job several months before, so money was tight. Being able to choose cereal was a special treat for Fara and me.” She remembered that morning like it was yesterday. The smells of the in-store bakery, the whines of the relentless children begging for treats to keep them occupied while their mom’s shopped. Everything was still incredibly clear, after more than twenty years.

  “I remember being almost jubilant that day. I walked up to the guy and tapped on the box of cereal with the fruity ovals in it. And in an instant, the man grabbed my arm tightly and shoved his other hand over my mouth. I was scared silent. His voice turned chilling as he warned both me and my sister not to scream. He promised Fara he’d bring me right back and then ran with me in his arms out of the market and into his waiting van. I’ll never forget the creepy tone of his voice or the threats he made. He swore that if I screamed, he would go back and kill my sister.”

  “What the… are you saying you were kidnapped?” She could see stark fear in Kyle’s rounded eyes. This was not the kind of story one heard every day. But it was her story, her life. And there was nothing she could do to change it.

  “Yes, I was taken by a man who had kidnapped three other girls over the course of several months. I didn’t know about the others at the time, but apparently, the others had been several years older than I was.” She hadn’t told her story in a long, long time, but just thinking about it stripped the years away, sending her back more than two decades to the innocent, petrified eight year old that thought she would never see her family again.

  “The man, whose name was Doug, gagged me so I couldn’t scream, he bound my hands and feet once he had me in the van, and drove away from the shopping center. I was panicked, Kyle. I cried and cried. But with the contraption in my mouth and the tears flowing, I started to hyperventilate, which led to actual gagging and vomiting. Guess that wasn’t in Doug’s grand plan of kidnapping an actual kid. He pulled over to the side of the road to make sure I wasn’t going to aspirate and die on my own puke, and then he slapped me around for vomiting in his car. That being said, he didn’t gag me again.”

  Watching the horror and revulsion wash over Kyle’s face was much better that the pitying stares she used to receive when she was made to sit through countless interviews. She never understood why those people couldn’t understand that their reactions made her feel small and powerless. She wanted to be angry, not sad. She wanted retribution, not tissues and a hug. Elliot never pushed her in either direction, which Cate loved, while there was certainly no pity party going on, Elliot never wanted to push the wrong buttons, hence she always tread lightly. No one understood exactly, but watching Kyle’s reaction, she knew instantly that he did. He got it.

  “So how did you make it out? What happened to this Doug?” He snarled.

  Cate thought back to the strange time she spent with the disturbed man. “It was bizarre. Other than when he slapped me in the van and moved me from place to place, he kept his hands to himself. Most of his scare tactics came in the form of threats. He promised he’d slice me if I didn’t shut up. He kept saying he was gonna keep me, watch me bloom,” she shuddered at the memory of his words, “and then do to me what he did to the others.” Cate fidgeted with her hair, wrapping it around her fingers and releasing it. “I didn’t know that he’d raped and murdered the other girls. I…I just knew that every time he glared at me, my skin crawled with disgust and fear. He told me if I tried to escape that he’d hunt me down forever, and when he finally caught me, I would wish I was dead,” she shrugged, attempting reaching for nonchalant to lessen the intensity. “You know the basic stuff.”

  “Cate, none of this is funny. I’m ready to kill somebody right now. Get to the end of the story…please,” Kyle growled.

  “I was dropped in the corner of a small room in what I guess was his apartment. I was a little girl, so I’m not sure if he actually lived there or not. The place seemed run down. If I live to be one hundred, I will never forget the stench.” She scrunched up her nose as the pungent smell of stale food and urine tickled her memory. “I was warned not to sit on any of the furniture because he was scared I would vomit on it. Even at eight, I thought it was weird because the place was already gross. But I didn’t move a muscle, not even to pee. Around midnight, I heard him on the phone with someone. It was just after he’d snorted white powder up his nose, which obviously now I know was cocaine. He started acting strange, and finally he left the apartment. I wasn’t sure how long he’d be gone, but I really had to use the bathroom. So I hopped to the toilet, and as quickly as possible used the facilities and hopped back to my spot on the floor.

  “I remember crying silently. I wanted my mom and dad. I missed my sister, and I ached to go home. I was petrified that he was going to find my family and hurt them. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing I remember, was being awoken by a loud noise, and then police officers were untying my hands and feet and trying to talk to me.”

  Kyle’s nostrils were flaring as he snarled, “What happened to that son of a bitch?”

  “Apparently, there were anonymous calls. Someone reported seeing him at the market and then again at the convenience store. When the police tried to apprehend him, he pulled a gun, and they shot him first. He died immediately.
”

  “Good,” Kyle retorted. “Although, instant death was too fucking kind.” Taking Cate’s hand in his, massaging her palm as his chest moved up and down with shallow breaths. “Christ, Angel, what you went through…” He shook his head, “I can’t imagine how happy you must have been when you finally saw you parents…or better yet, when they were able to see that their little girl was safe and sound.”

  “Yeah…” her stomach clenched, “it’s something I’ll never forget.”

  Kyle had just gone on a rollercoaster ride of epic proportions with Cate as the driver, so why as the carts were supposed to be docking did it seem like there was another drop just up ahead? All of the energy she had while telling the horrifying story of her childhood seemed to peel from her skin, leaving her raw and exposed. What else could there possibly be?

  “Cate, what happened when you saw your parents? They must have been out of their mind with worry and grief. Right?”

  Her eyes, which had previously been locked on his, moved to the leather in between them as her posture became even more rigid, as if that were possible. Pulling in a deep breath, Cate dragged her fingers through her hair and heaved a heavy sigh.

  “When the police rescued me from the apartment, they took me immediately to the hospital. I was begging to see my parents. The officers promised me my folks would meet me in the emergency department. I was scared and wished my mom had been there to ride in the ambulance with me, but I made myself understand, that the sooner I stopped complaining, the quicker I would finally be with her.