Storm Front (The Charistown Series) (Volume 2) Page 13

  “Ashley, are you okay?” Her father, who had definitely been more attentive in the past five weeks, rushed to her side and placed two fingers to the pulse point at her neck.

  “Dad, what are you—”

  “Shh…” After a few seconds her father leveled a knowing glance at her and then turned to face his wife. “Judy, we’ve discussed this already. Why are you making this harder on her? She has all the credits she needs to graduate early, she doesn’t want to walk with her class in the Spring, and she’s officially eighteen. If she wants to go, we have to let her.”

  If Ashley hadn’t been as shocked as she was, the obstinate and dejected look on her mother’s face would have made her laugh. Instead, she stood there with her mouth wide open, catching flies.

  “Mitch, have you lost your ever-loving mind,” her mother ranted. This was one of Ashley and Leo’s favorite Judy Kynde Rants. They used to refer to this one as the “Windmill”. This was where her mother would swirl her arms in circles while spewing out facts and figures just to shove her point down the throats of anyone who would listen.

  Do you see her, Leo? She’s windmilling?

  “Do you have any idea what people will think of us if our daughter doesn’t graduate high school? Do you know—”

  That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. That was the moment Ashley started doing some windmilling of her own.

  “That’s it! That is it! I’ve had enough. Why are you such a bitch?” Ashley felt the heat as it rose from her neck to her cheeks. “Why did you bother having children if you don’t give a damn about us? Why? Yes, people will talk if I don’t graduate. Do you know how I know? Because they already talk about the two of you—they have been for years. They can’t understand how two such brilliant doctors could be such horrible parents. And you want to know something else? They’re right—you both suck!” She was on a roll now. The words she had kept bottled in for years bubbled out of her like foam from a shaken soda.

  Judy crossed her arms over her chest, “Ashley, I don’t appreciate—”

  “I don’t give a damn what you appreciate, Mom. The same way you never gave a damn what Leo and I cared about. Yes, you gave us food and clothes. We never went without stuff. But that’s all it was…just stuff.”

  She quickly swept away the stray tear that barely managed to escape. She didn’t want to waste one ounce of sadness in this showdown. She was done letting people see her vulnerable side. Done. “We never cared about the stuff. We just wanted your time. My God. Leo’s favorite possessions were the car that he bought himself and that stupid wooden airplane that he and dad made when he was eight.” She turned to her father. “Do you even remember that plane? Because it meant everything to him. The four hours it took to make that plane were the greatest hours of his life. How pathetic is that?”

  She turned to her suitcases and began shoving her clothes in. Not neat. Not orderly. Not at all Ashley-like.

  A snort from behind her stayed her hand. “And how exactly do you plan to live once you leave this house? Because money doesn’t grow on trees.”

  God, she hated that expression. That was the excuse every single time she’d ever asked her mother to spend time with her, every time she’d wanted her mother to come to school for an event. Every time she’d wanted her mother to come to one of the Storm Front shows. “Money doesn’t grow on trees, Ashley.”

  Her hands gripped the shirt she was holding and squeezed it tightly, twisting and twisting the garment until it no longer resembled anything more than a handkerchief.

  “I have plenty of money saved up from all the time I’ve worked babysitting jobs and the restaurant. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Oh, right, you weren’t worried. I must have been thinking of someone else.” She zipped up her bag and headed toward her bathroom.

  “You deal with her,” her mother shrilled to her father just before she stomped out of Ashley’s room and headed downstairs.

  “You’re not wrong,” her father said in a quiet voice. Ashley was packing up her toiletries when she looked up to see her father staring at her with guilt-filled eyes. His admission left her speechless, so she just stood there silently. “We thought we could have it all, your mother and I. We thought we could have the best careers and the perfect marriage and the greatest children. We thought we could—” Mitchell Kynde ran his fingers through his expensively cut hair. For the first time in years, Ashley actually took the time to look at her father. His golden blond hair was sprinkled with gray, and his skin, once tan all year round, looked ashen. Deep purple bruises lay under his pale blue eyes—evidence that Ashley wasn’t the only one in the house not sleeping anymore.

  “When we had Leo, we thought we could continue our pace and he would fit into our lives. God, we were so selfish. Life was crazy, and busy and fun. Obviously fun.” He smirked. “We had you the very next year. But when we realized that one of us would have to stay back and parent, well, I guess that’s when having it all turned into having nothing at all.”

  Ashley couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her emotions warred within her body. Anger wielded the guns and pain sharpened its knives.

  Trying to steady her pounding heart, Ashley inhaled deeply, letting out a long, deep breath before she gave her response. “So, you mean to tell me, that Leo and I were just an annoyance the two of you needed to deal with. The both of you basically flipped a coin to see which one of you had to ‘give up’ your career to actually parent your own children. And when neither of you were happy with the outcome, you decided, ‘Fuck it, we’ll hire strangers to raise them until they’re old enough to do it on their own.’ That’s pretty much what you’re saying here, right, Dad?”

  If the truth could kill there would be two dead bodies laying on white tile floor right now, she thought to herself as she broke eye contact with the man to her left. She and Leo had always felt like they were the footnotes in their parents’ lives, but actually hearing the words—from your own father, no less—was like knowing the range was hot and then actually feeling the burner. The truth hurt like a bitch. The sting of tears threatened her eyes and the lump in the back of her throat faltered her breathing, but she refused to give in. No, I won’t let him see me weak.

  “Ashley, I didn’t tell you that to hurt you, even though I know it did.”

  Lifting her chin, she righted her shoulders. “You don’t know a thing about me.”

  “You’re right, I don’t.” He at least had the grace to look embarrassed by his admission. “And I didn’t know a thing about my son either.” His eyes went glassy as he continued to speak, “And I will live the rest of my life knowing that my son died thinking I didn’t care about him. But I refuse to let another day go by with you thinking the same.”

  Ashley stared at her father and in a clipped tone said, “You just flat out admitted to not wanting to care for us. You can’t make that better. You understand that, right?” A light clanking got Ashley’s attention. She looked down to see her trembling hand holding her toothbrush on the counter. She forced herself to let go of the toothbrush so the noise would stop.

  “I never said I didn’t care. I said that I didn’t want to stop working to take care of my children. And I was wrong, I was selfish, I was a horrible father.”

  “Keep going, I won’t stop you,” she snipped.

  “But, I have spent every day of the last eighteen years loving you and your brother.” Loving us, ha, what a joke. Ashley opened her mouth to say just that, when her father leveled her with a stare. “Don’t interrupt me.” She knew his tone, it was the no nonsense one she’d heard him use often over the years, so she kept quiet to hear what he had to say.

  “Your mother and I wanted it all and we gave up everything to have it. In the end, we both achieved amazing careers but guilt and competition have made it so we can’t stand each other. We don’t even sleep in the same room anymore.”

  Okay, she hadn’t seen that one coming.

  “In the end, we were horrible parents
, parents who lost our only son five weeks ago. FIVE WEEKS AGO!” He shouted as tears started falling down his face. “I lost my boy and I never got to know him. I never got to love him, but I’m a great fucking doctor. Do you understand, Ashley?”

  “No, Dad,” she said truthfully, shrugging her shoulders, “I don’t. I would never do to my kids what you guys did to us.”

  “And that is why I support you in your decision to leave before graduation: because you are a smart girl who will make the right choices when the time comes. I went to school, college, medical school and I made all of the wrong choices. The same with your mother. So you go and do what you need to do. You have your money that you worked hard for but you’ll also have an account with money in it, should you ever need it. No strings attached. Before you say it, this is not guilt money, Ashley. It’s Leo’s college money. He said he didn’t want it when he didn’t go to school. In fact, I think his actual words were, ‘Shove it up your ass, old man,’ but I could be paraphrasing.” His chuckle held no humor as he repeated his son’s words.

  Ashley couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her mouth. She remembered the day Leo had told her about that conversation. The sound of gruff chuckling brought her back from her memory. Her father was smiling at his own recollection.

  “Anyway, I can’t claim to know him well but I know for a fact that he would want you to have that money in case you needed it. So it’s yours.”

  “Thank you, I…I appreciate it.” She inhaled deeply, knowing what she was about to do would cause as much pain as it would comfort. “I’m just going to go into his room and take a few of his things, okay?”

  “That’s fine.” He quickly reached out for her arm. “Ashley, I know I don’t have the right to ask you for this but—”

  “Yes, Dad, I’ll leave the airplane.” She heard his relieved exhale as he left her alone in Leo’s room.

  Ryan gripped the steering wheel tighter and tighter as he drove the short distance. He couldn’t stay away any longer. It had been almost five weeks since they spoke, almost five weeks since he breathed her same air, since he touched her. He needed to connect with her. He knew that if he just got her to listen to him he could convince her to forgive him. He would never hurt her again. Never.

  He pulled up to Ashley’s driveway and felt every ounce of oxygen leave his body.

  I’ll Never Let You Go

  SHOVING THE LAST of her bags into the back of her new SUV, a harsh shiver ran the length of Ashley’s spine. The air was remarkably cold for December in Miami. I couldn’t be leaving soon enough, she thought as she shuddered once again, tugging her sweater tighter around her.

  “Ash?”

  She hadn’t heard his voice in over a month and it was aloe and thorns at the same time. Other than the day of Leo’s funeral, Ryan had done what she’d begged of him and left her alone. Just that simple question had her insides melting. Closing her eyes, she warned herself not to give anything away.

  Stay cold. Stay detached.

  “Ryan.” She kept the exchange brief in the hope that she could get it over and done with as quickly as possible, without telling him any of her plans. However Ryan had always been able to see through her words and into her soul. That’s what had made their songs so incredible. It’s what made her love him so deeply. As if her thoughts alone had drawn him to her, Ryan stood barely an inch away. With his close proximity, she could feel the heat radiating from his body. She could smell his woodsy scent—warm and inviting—and she could feel his breath caressing her ear. She shivered again but knew her reaction had nothing to do with the extraordinarily low temperature. On sensory overload, the last several years washed over Ashley as she turned and stared at Ryan Baker.

  His life had been tied to her in every way that mattered. He was her brother’s best friend, Leo’s band mate. He was her first crush and her first love. He was the first guy to break her heart and the person that held her on the worst night of her life. Yet, more than anything, he was the reason why she called Leo and begged him to come to her rescue. While she only had herself to blame for Leo’s death, she couldn’t look at Ryan and not feel betrayal, hurt, and worst of all, longing. That longing was one of the biggest reasons she needed to leave Miami. She needed to start over and bury her past, all of it. And that included Ryan Baker.

  “When will you be back?”

  He asked the question, but he knew the answer before the words ever left her mouth. He knew she was never coming back. His heart broke once again when he saw the guarded look in her sad and tired eyes.

  He’d been watching her from afar over the past month, to make sure she was getting on okay. But what he witnessed was her merely existing, not surviving. She’d clung to him at Leo’s funeral, but he hadn’t read anything into that. After all, there were close to five hundred people paying their respects to the family. She needed strength to get through that day and he was her rock. He’d stood by her as she had politely greeted her parents’ friends and colleagues. He’d helped her console Leo’s former classmates as well as her current ones. They’d held each other when Leo’s body was lowered into the ground.

  Although after that day, the Ashley that he’d spent years knowing and loving, first as a friend and then as a soul mate, started to evaporate. Little by little, he’d watched as her inner glow dimmed. He’d tried to call her several times but she never answered or returned his calls, and when he cornered her after school, she looked at him with tear-filled eyes and asked him to let her go. So he’d done the hardest thing he’d ever done before and stepped aside. Now she was leaving. What would he do without her?

  “Ry, I just have to get out of here.” She gestured to the now colorless world around her. “Everything here makes me think of him, of us…”

  “Ash, you can’t just run away when life gets shitty.”

  “No, you’re right. I suppose I could just stay and be cruel to the people I love, throw them out like garbage and make them feel horrible. Maybe throw in a punch to a wall? Sound familiar?”

  Her words stung like a slap to the face. The potency of them left him breathless, but what caused him the most pain was watching her mindlessly rub her sternum with the outer edge of her thumb. Up and down in short strokes she fretted that small area—trying to conceal the agony that this confrontation was causing her.

  “I deserved that. I deserve everything you have to throw at me. But, please, don’t go. Stay here and fight it out with me, Ash. Please?”

  “Don’t you understand? I don’t want to make you feel that way. But I can’t do any better. I’m hurt, angry and lost.” Turmoil was etched in her face. “Yes, you hurt me, but I loved you. Why would I ever want to purposely cause you pain? Ry, we aren’t healthy together because you need help. You’re a good person but you have issues, and frankly, I don’t have it in me to hang out until you get your shit together. I have my own crosses to bear now.” Her statement was harsh, but he knew he deserved no less.

  Defeat weighed on each of Ryan’s next words. “Okay, Ashley. I get that. I do. I messed up. I will never be able to undo all the damage that my behavior caused, and I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life. But,” his gaze hardened with his promise, “I will do what it takes to fix the parts of me that are broken. For me. For you. For us.” He let out a long, ragged breath. “So, I’ll let you leave, but I’ll never let you go. I will always love you.” He reached into his fleece jacket and pulled out a small gift-wrapped box.

  “Ryan, I can’t…I don’t…” Ashley stumbled over her words as she tried to deny the gift he was giving her. He opened her gloved hand and laid the present in her palm. He was supposed to have given her his gift yesterday, Christmas Day, her birthday. Yesterday was supposed to have been magical and beautiful. Instead, he was home with his father wrapped in pain and heartache.

  “You, you don’t have to open it now, okay? I saw it a couple of months ago and I had to get it for you. Just, please, don’t get rid of it until you open it. I really do lov
—” She put her hand out to stop him from completing his sentence.

  “Thank you for the gift, Ryan.” Her voice cracked. “Take care of yourself.”

  He watched as she tucked the box into the console of her car. Then she slid into the driver’s side, buckled up, and drove away.

  It’s not forever Baker, do what you need to do. Get your shit sorted out, and then get your girl back. It’s not forever. It’s just for now.

  He repeated that mantra for close to three years.

  Danny’s On Main

  Charistown, Pennsylvania

  Three years later…

  “EXCUSE ME, MISS? How long does a guy have to wait to get a beer around here?”

  It didn’t matter that her back was to the bar. It didn’t matter that it’d been almost three years since she’d heard that smooth, cocky tone. It didn’t even matter that the voice belonged to the guy who shattered her heart. From his very first word, her entire body responded. Her breathing quickened, her heart raced, and the soft center between her thighs pulsed.

  Pulling in a deep breath, she slowly turned around and set eyes on the one person who had owned her heart since she was old enough to realize that she no longer possessed it.

  “Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. If it isn’t Ryan Baker, songwriter extraordinaire.” His smirk hadn’t changed a bit nor had the way it affected her, making her insides tingly and warm. She watched as he fought for a response and laughed to herself when he came up with nothing. “So, all this time and you got nothing to say?”

  Ryan could feel his pulse quicken as he looked into the greenish-brown eyes of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. For almost three years he had been planning this moment, and now, with her standing just a bar’s width apart, he was rendered utterly speechless. For a man that makes his living by stringing together words, lack of verbiage was not something he dealt with on a frequent basis. Her smile was as sexy as ever, but her familiar sass held something new, something less warm, less Ashley. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it but there was definitely something different about her, other than the fact that her long, golden hair, and her unadorned sun kissed skin were both things of the past. This Ashley kept her hair shoulder length and streaked with multiple colors, red, purple, blue and black. This Ashley had tattoos weaving along her biceps and her wrists, and a tiny piercing through her nose and a hoop through her lip. Gone was the sweet, pure, innocent girl he remembered. The woman that stood before him now was sexy, sultry, and stunning.